The Struggle is Real

When I started my "year of creative habits", I knew it was going to be challenging. Doing something creative is already challenging. Doing something every day? Even more challenging.

There are days when I'm too tired and uninspired to bust out the notebook. There are crappy days and "mic drop" days. I have some really cool drawings and some that definitely need more work.

In spite of the ups and downs, I will carry on. I am sticking to my commitment. I will continue to draw both good and not so good drawings. My artful soul depends on it! 

I hope that my efforts will also encourage others to make time to do what they love. Whatever you enjoy doing, whether that's arts and crafts, sports, or reading, I hope you spend some time each week feeding your soul.   

The Selfie

Most people think of the "selfie" as a social media phenomenon, but I like to think of it as the modern day self-portrait. Like a self-portrait, a selfie is a form of self-representation and self-expression. Every selfie says, "This picture should tell you something about who I am." Ok, maybe not every selfie, but regardless of context, judgments are being made (to like or not like?) about the individual's portrayal of his or herself.

Over the last several weeks of drawing portraits, I have spent hours "studying selfies". When I draw, I spend more time looking at what I'm drawing and not the actual drawing. Everyone has different noses, different hair styles, different cheek bones and jaw lines. I have to get all of those details just right otherwise that individual will not look like himself/herself.

It's amazing to me what assumptions can be drawn from the details of a person's appearance. Everything from country of origin, social class, to lifestyle can be communicated through clothing choices, tattoos, or facial features. But is it really possible to communicate personal identity and history through appearance?

I listened to an excellent TED talk last week by a fellow ACU alumnae, Victoria 'Sun' Esparza. The timing could not have been more perfect! Her struggle with appearance and personal identity is the exact same thing I'm trying to wrap my mind around. 

If you're interested to hear what she had to say, click here:

Who Do You Think I Am?  |  Victoria Sun  |  TEDxACU

So what does your selfie say about you? What do people see when look at you? Who do you see? These are questions that challenge each of us, but I believe they are questions worth exploring. 

The First 30 Days

I've made it to through my first month of daily portraits! Booyah!!!

It's hard to believe that I have sketched more times this past month than I have the entire five years that I've been working as a designer!

After 30 days, I think that the artistic fire inside of me has been rekindled. I look forward every day to creating something new or trying something new. I've really enjoyed the pen and ink process thus far. I never know how things are going to turn out!

"Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, 

is a way to make your soul grow..." - KURT VONEGUT

My husband keeps saying, "You're getting better babe!" And whether or not it's true, the greatest growth I'm seeing is inside me, not just what's on paper.

I am relearning the art of making mistakes (oops, that line isn't supposed to be there), acknowledging them for what they are (well that was a bad idea), embracing them (guys, look at that line!), and moving on (it's just a line).

I am rediscovering the vulnerability I had when I was a student, the same vulnerability that allowed teachers to mold me. Art teachers love it when students are not afraid to put themselves out there. By sharing what I do, I'm including others in the creative process. What good is art if nobody sees it?

 

"...the belief that (the) process, in a sense, is liberating...you don't have to reinvent the wheel every day." - CHUCK CLOSE

A lot has happened in a month's time. With one down and eleven to go, who knows how much more growing will be done?

Week 2: A Year of Portraits

This past week was a struggle, and it was only week two!

I had to remind myself that it's OK if I miss a day or two of drawing. If I draw just so I can say I drew that day, then I'm missing the point.

So what is the point? What is so important about daily creative habits?

"Only now I'm learning to enjoy not being in charge of what 

the next stroke will do to the whole painting. 

I'm still learning that there are no mistakes only discoveries."

- Fernando Araujo

I grew so much as an artist and as a person when I was in art school. My teachers introduced me to techniques and mediums that I had never tried or used before. They also pushed me out of my comfort zone, and challenged me to do things I never thought I could do. Did I become Michelangelo after four years of schooling? No. But my journey towards the Sistine Chapel had begun.

 

Learning and growing did not stop when I graduated. My creative cloud has so much potential for expansion, but it's the daily stretching and practicing that will take me to heights I've never been to. Not everything I do will be a masterpiece, and some things will be terrible. But sometimes it takes a lot of bad ideas to find the best idea.

So here's the point: Daily creative habits are not important. They are essential to my artistic growth. And though I might miss a day, I will continue challenging myself every day. 

A Year of Portraits

I've been working as a full-time graphic designer for almost five years now. I love my job and the company that I work for, but I think I've found myself in a creative rut.

I spend most of my time looking at a computer screen, problem solving, and satisfying the customer. It's all good work, but I never thought it would come to a point where I just don't draw for fun anymore. "Adulting" took over, and all I do during my spare time is chores or watch Netflix with the hubbers. When was the last time I got paint on my clothes or charcoal on my face? Too long.

As of last Friday, I decided that enough is enough. I'm going to quit wishing I could make art and start creating for the sheer joy of it.

Where do I start? How am I going to get out of the mundane and stay out? In the past, Google has answered many of my questions, so I started there. One click led to another, and I found another artist who was dealing with a similar struggle. She decided she was going to start doing something creative everyday for a year and share it with others. I was so inspired by her work that I decided to do the same thing! I'm going to do something creative every day for a year.

Read more about the artist who inspired me here: crystalmoody.com

I've decided that I'm going to make portraits. If I'm going to do something everyday, then it's going to be something I will not easily get tired of. I've been drawing/painting portraits for as long as I can remember. People fascinate me. The more distinct features a person has, the better. I love the challenge of capturing their essence and telling their story. People are beautiful.



This is definitely going to be a challenge, but I have a few rules and boundaries for myself to make the process easier. I will elaborate on those in future blog posts. For now, I wish to share this project with you for accountability's sake and communal support. Your comments and encouraging words not only help build my confidence but also affirm my small contribution to the beauty of this world.

A special "Thank you!" to those of you who were my models this week!

21 Days Without Facebook

2011 Toyota Venza Commercial - Social Media

Do you remember what life was like before Facebook? Before MySpace? or for those of you in Asia, before Friendster?

Social media has changed our world in more ways than we realize, and the same is true for how it is affecting the human brain.

FACT: Research has shown that logging in to Facebook or Twitter causes the brain to release oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone. (link to article at bottom of post)

It's a happy hormone! Who wouldn't want that? Think about it. Anytime I feel lonely or depressed, I can log on to Facebook and suddenly all is right in the world. I'm not lonely, I've got 665 friends... which is why I'm at home... on a Friday night... alone.

This was the exact situation I found myself in a few months ago. I felt pathetic. I had just moved back to the city where I went to college to start a new job, and somehow I ended up spending most of my evenings in front of a screen 'cause it was easier than making phone calls.

I decided to end the cycle. I've been a Facebook member for 6 years. The longest I've gone without checking Facebook was one week. It takes 21 days of doing something to create a habit, and that's how long it was going to take to "deactivate" one.

I put a notice of absence on my status, posted my email and cell phone number, had my sister change my password, and began the detoxification process.

FACT: Social media sites are more addictive than alcohol and cigarettes. (link to article at bottom of post)

The first week was the most challenging. It had become a habit of mine to check FB during my breaks at work or when I wanted to relax my mind. Since that was no longer an option, I found myself spending less time on the computer.

Because I wanted to spend more time with people, I started working out with a friend after work. I made more of an effort to text or call people, have coffee or dinner with them. It wasn't long before I became "too busy" to even check email. In times when I was alone, I read, meditated, and prayed.

FACT: The number of people with whom humans can maintain stable relationships is limited by the size of our neocortex to an average of around 150. (link to article at bottom of post)

I had one person, whom I normally interacted with on FB, email me during my detox period. There were maybe 5 or 6 people who noticed that I was "offline". That bothered me a little bit. But then again, it was only 3 weeks. What would happen if I logged off for an entire year?

I saw on the news that one guy decided to take this social media fast to an extreme that I'm not even sure I could do. He went 90 days without any type of communication technology. No social media, no email, no cell phone. I was amazed at how creative his friends got when they realized they couldn't just call or message him. They left notes in elevators, wrote on sidewalks, and wrote letters.

The Amish Project

After 3 weeks of no FB, I was a little hesitant to log back on. I was worried about falling into the same habit again. It doesn't make sense for a recovering alcoholic to go back to social drinking.

I still have a Facebook account because I want to stay in touch with friends and family who are far away. I want to see pictures of my friend's kids, keep up with the progress of a ministry to homeless families, know when there's a surprise party for a co-worker. But instead of logging on everyday for hours at a time, I log on every other day for 10 or 15 minutes (sometimes less). I'm in the process of making it 3 times a week and cutting down my friends list.

FACT: Number of hours the human race has spent playing Angry Birds: 200,000 YEARS 

Like everything else, social media as a whole has it's pros and cons. It's about having balance in our life, minimizing distractions, and living in the present. It's about being too busy living to write about it.

SOURCES:

USING FACEBOOK AND TWITTER RELEASES THE SAME HORMONE AS CUDDLING

IS FACEBOOK MORE ADDICTIVE THAN ALCOHOL OR CIGARETTES?

FACEBOOK FRIEND TALLY IS ASSOCIATED WITH DIFFERENCES IN BRAIN STRUCTURE